Yesterday went much better than I expected. After the inital surge of emotions surrounding Greg's departure V and I settled in for a pretty nice day at home together.
I worked on freelance writing projects in the morning while she slept in my arms and I even managed to get a shower in while she napped in her swing. At noon a pregnant friend came by and brought lunch and we sat out on the deck while V continued to nap in her swing, and spoke about all things pregnancy and baby, each of us on a different side of the experience.
In the afternoon I went to the grocery store and wore V in the Moby wrap while I browsed through the aisles. She slept, blissfully unaware, as I loaded my cart, but it took all of my focus to get the task done.
I feel like half of my brain is gone these days. All I can think about is her -- what she's doing, what she might need, if she's going to wake up, if she's cold or hot, when she'll want to nurse again. It's virtually impossible to think about anything else...things like current events, phone calls I need to return, if the dishwasher is clean or dirty -- those all require enormous amounts of concentration in order to break through the cloud of V in my head. I must have looked at my grocery list a dozen times yesterday while I was in the store, and I still forgot things.
She is changing so much every day. All of a sudden she is beginning to smile a little bit. It started off just in her sleep but yesterday and this morning she gave both me and Greg little smiles. She's also much more alert when she's awake, looking around wide-eyed and staring for long minutes at our faces. And we are definitely getting better at meeting her needs, ensuring that she hardly ever fusses these days.
I can't believe that she'll be 3 weeks old tomorrow. I can't wait to see what the next 3 weeks bring.
